Don't wait until you are Older

 

Freezing atop Pikes Peak 14,115ft

"I hope to do that someday," said my customer. This man was in his mid-fifties, overweight with looming medical problems. He was repeating a mantra that had no doubt stuck in his head most of his life, the idea of someday. I had told him the story of how my wife and I traveled across America and his eyes opened wide with wonder.

My name is Alex, I'm a former adventure writer who currently works as an airport shuttle driver. I talk to hundreds of travelers every year. I get to hear their stories and I tell them mine.

This man's story stuck with me because it seemed so sad. Let's call him Carl, not his real name. Carl is obsessed with stability. "Well, you've got to have a stable job and benefits so that you can have health care and someday retire... and then start living." Really?

Carl's story is typical of many of the people I grew up with in Massachusetts. They were focused on stability, income, benefits and maybe someday... living? Even at a young age this seemed backward to me. I thought how can you start your life after it is over? How will you have the energy, flexibility or ambition at 65yrs to do anything that you wanted when you were young? Everything gets physically harder with old age and becomes more expensive.

Carl had an answer, "I wanted to do lot's of things but I have responsibilities. One day I'll have the money to do what I want." Was he right or was he making excuses?

After listening to what he did for a living and how he couldn't afford to save money I knew there was a flaw in his story. Turns out that Carl spent much of his money on distractions to help him survive a dissatisfying job in order to keep benefits he now needed for his worsening health. He was stuck in a cycle of socially acceptable self-destruction that he called responsibility.

"What else is there?" Carl asked. I told him my life story growing up in a low income family who moved nearly every year. I told him how I never had money or stability and yet over the course of my life I managed to do everything I ever wanted. It wasn't easy but it was achievable.

"You must be very lucky. Most people don't get to do that." He was partly right, I probably was lucky but I was also determined. If my story teaches us anything it is that you don't need lots of money to live your dreams. I never had anything more stable or profitable than a part-time job as I traveled up and down the east coast of the United States. There were times when I was homeless and had to couch surf or live in my car. As an adult I only had health care on two occasions and it never lasted more than a couple years. None of it stopped me.

Carl was living in a misery loop, trapped in the belief that he couldn't do better than where he was. Unfulfilling job, sad living conditions, poor diet and yet he wouldn't budge for fear of losing the dark corner he was accustomed to. The painful truth is that if he doesn't step up, he is very likely to die in that dark corner.

Never shy with my opinion, I gave him some advice. "I wouldn't wait Carl, life doesn't wait for anyone. You need to focus on your dreams and sacrifice a little comfort to make them come true. Life is a gift but we don't know how long it lasts. It's better not to waste it while hoping for a magical tomorrow that may never come. I hope you break free."

To some people this might all sound like flowery new age pop-psychology and if the words don't work for you, just find new words. The intention is all that matters. What do you intend for the rest of your life? What is your next goal, event or project? How are you going to break free? Several wise senior travelers have told me, "Don't wait until you are older because it might be too late."

I never saw Carl again, which doesn't surprise me but I do wish him the best. - Alex