Henry David Thoreau said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Most believe he was speaking broadly about mankind but I believe he was specifically talking about the people of Massachusetts.
I recently met a young man who grew up on the island of Saint Kitts. He told me that he wished has was back home living on the island with his mother and grandfather. Friends, family and freedom, that's all he needed to be happy. Here, in America he felt less free. Here, it's all about money. In the states you obsess over having your payments caught up and your credit high. It's about making sure you have insurance just in case something goes wrong. It's about the scramble of keeping up with bills, taxes and paperwork. It's about climbing the ladder or impressing others with the amount of attention you can gather, by any means.
I grew up in Massachusetts. My hometown was Avon but we moved all over the south shore. As a kid freedom meant hanging out with friends and exploring the towns I lived in. We would go to school, ride our bikes, run around in the woods pretending to be soldiers. We would play sports, go to the movies and spend endless time at the mall. The freedom of youth is amazing because it allows us to grow exponentially.
The confines of Massachusetts started to hit when I reached high school. There was a culture of bullying, intimidation and constantly judging others. After high school the bullying turned into moral superiority. In a state that values education, students and teachers enforced a hierarchy where some schools were better than others. People with a degree were better than those without.
On his opening day at Stonehill College a friend of mine was told in orientation that only 5% of citizens get advanced degrees and contribute to society. The rest of the population is a drag on society, they waste their lives on meaningless jobs and end up on some version of welfare. Unfortunately my friend believed this bullshit and broke off friendships with anyone who wasn't enrolled in college.
Once I entered the workforce I really learned how the bay state worked. There are two distinct classes - The white collar academics and the blue collar alcoholics. People either grew up with a certain amount of wealth and family connections or you grew up with none. This seemed to determine the life path of almost everyone I knew.
When I finally started making money the state government seemed to have their fingers all over it. From endless regulations to huge sweeping laws down to restrictive auto inspection stickers, they are tracking and taxing everything. One time my car was impounded due to a paperwork mistake made by the dealership. One time my mother was pulled over only to be told that her excise tax was overdue. After a few years of big brother staring down my neck, I began to get paranoid.
In 1992 I made a trip to Florida to spend time with some friends. Being in this new state my whole world opened up. No one cared what college I went to or what I did for a living. No one was judging my long hair or sexual preferences. Florida has no state tax and lets its citizens live according to their own choices. This is what freedom feels like to me. I was hooked.
I could relate to that young man from Saint Kitts. Many people grow up so confined by the structure of their society they forget that it's not the same everywhere. Freedom isn't black or white, all or nothing, it's a spectrum. In our country with 50 states there are many different kinds of freedom. If you feel confined in one state, just move to another. That's what I did.
I have many strong feelings about Massachusetts. I could go on all day about the broken unions, drug addicted nepo babies and state corruption but what's the point? Most people who live in Mass are never going to snap out of it. They have begrudgingly accepted the norm. Many have attached their egos to being Massholes, they connect their pride to sports teams and dare not admit to any ambitions which would separate them from the crowd. Many will never again experience that child-like type of freedom that releases the soul.
I understand the dilemma. It's not easy to break out when you know you will be alone the moment you try. At first no one will believe you because no one ever leaves Mass. The culture is like social quicksand. People indulge in their own personal misery. This isn't just about moving away, it's about finding yourself. My advice to those who feel lost in the cold, live the life you've imagined and not just the one handed to you. There is freedom beyond. Embrace your courage and explore.
I will end with another quote from Thoreau, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
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