3 Reasons Why Alex Didn't Become Famous

Disclaimer: The names of public personalities and companies have been changed or left out because even though I'm finally comfortable talking about these events, I don't want any drama. Images created using Chat GPT and Google Gemini.

One of the most commonly asked questions I have received over the course of my writing career is - Why didn't you become famous? If you have met me during one of my Adventures or even just read my online Biography, you might have wondered the same thing. The truth is that it almost happened. There were three critical decisions that I made which forever turned me away from the path of fame. 

Alex's first Official Booksigning at Books-a-Million

The year was 2004. My first book Virgin Gloves had been published. I was doing booksignings around Orlando, being interviewed by newspapers and ravenously seeking any audience that would hear my story. The great thing about being a first time author is that most media is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. They will give you a shot at proving yourself. My phone and e-mail were blowing up with opportunities so I dived right in.

Reason #1 - A well known radio station gave me 15 minutes of air time on one of their talk shows. This was my first big break. However, I was not prepared for what they wanted. My book Virgin Gloves was about a gay prizefighter. It was inspired by my work as a boxing writer and amateur fighter. The radio producer smartly figured out that I knew which Pro fighters were gay. Just before going on air I was pressured to point fingers and name names.

I was completely caught off guard by the request, which sounded more like a veiled threat. Tell us what we want to hear or we cut your segment from the program. It was not said but definitely implied. When we went on air I was totally off balance. I tried my best to talk about the book but had to dodge all the questions about my sources. The fighters who confided in me made me promise not to out them. Being a bisexual man myself, I would never exposed them to that kind of danger. In that segment, I protected their anonymity but in doing so I sounded like an idiot.

That trend continued on other radio shows. No one cared about the book, they just wanted me to name gay fighters. They wanted me to create the kind of scandal which could have destroyed people's lives. If that is what it took to be famous, I didn't want any part of it.

Reason #2 - A New York radio shock jock got his hands on Virgin Gloves and he loved it. We had a long conversation about the subject and he wanted to get me on his show. I was thrilled by his enthusiasm but not by his idea. In the book one of the characters speculates that Mike Tyson might be gay. This shock jock was friends with Iron Mike and wanted to get the two of us on the air together, in the same room.

At first I had agreed to the idea and we were set to talk further but the vibe made me nervous. I listened to his radio show and found out that he liked to create confrontations. It was kind of like Jerry Springer, where two people would get riled up about a conflict and he would try to get them to argue on air about it, maybe even fight. This was a set up.

The rough and tumble world of sensationalist media is chalk full of these scenarios. I never considered that I would be a target of their exploitative style of entertainment. Hard pass.

Reason #3 - The biggest contact that excited and surprised me came from Hollywood. He was a big time movie producer who had heard about Virgin Gloves (never actually said that he read it). After playing phone tag with his assistant for weeks we finally talked. He said the book sounded like it would make a great script and that I should spend some time in California to discuss it in person.

I was thrilled! My book could be made into a movie. This is what every author wants. I immediately started looking up his films and projects. That is where I found other stories about him. They were mostly rumors about how he combines his personal proclivities with his work life. In simpler terms he was sexually exploiting every young guy he could get his hands on. The consensus was that he was a powerful scumbag who used people but sometimes made good movies. 

I was really torn on this one but ultimately I was not travelling all the way to California to take a wild chance on a guy who had a sleazy reputation. Two decades later he has been the subject of multiple sexual harassment lawsuits. I dodged another bullet.

Over the years I rarely discussed these incidents because I felt like I had screwed up. Maybe I should have been prepared for those questions. Maybe I was naive about how to sell my stories and who I would have to deal with. For a long time after I still wanted to be famous and assumed there would be more opportunities like these but maybe with better people who had less ruthless intentions. I was wrong. I wrote eight more books and none of them got the media attention of Virgin Gloves.

I have since learned that this is often the way it goes. A wide eyed, ambitious, often good looking youth gets a myriad of offers from con artists and corporate opportunists. If the youth has even a shred of dignity, their career never gets off the ground and the phone calls stop. The age old metaphor of selling your soul remains true, at least in my experience.

My big chance to be famous had passed but that turned out to be a good thing on many levels. First of all, I was not ready for fame. Even when I received small amounts of attention I had trouble handling it properly. Secondly it would take me years of practice to relate with fans in a responsible way. Third, I never really wanted to be a writer. It was a talent and a compulsion but never a passion.

  

While writing this article I started watching the 2001 film Blow starring Johnny Depp. There was a line that summarized my core obstacle,"You failed because you had the wrong dream." I think subconsciously I was hoping that my writing career would stall so that I could give myself permission to pursue an athletic career. I was always splitting my attention between the two which caused me to come up short on both. Becoming a professional athlete was what I really wanted to be and thankfully who I am now.

The path to fame is more complicated than I could have imagined. Thinking about it brought to mind the lyrics of Mr Jones by the band Counting Crows. "We all want to be big stars but we don't know why." But I knew why because, "When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely." If only it were true.