Confessions of a Recovering Egomaniac
Today is my 43rd birthday and I'm still chasing my dreams, sort of. There are some who envy my dedication. Others are quite aware that I'm full of shit. The truth is that we all do what comes easiest. The only difference is that my imagination has been running wild for years and I only just now grabbed the reigns.
My long list of achievements includes quitting or getting fired from 70 jobs. Of the 700+ articles I have written a mere 7 made it to print (Only one was paid). I have been turned down by every publisher and agent I have queried in the last 20 years. The only mountain bikes races I won were the ones with no competition in my class. I never needed to lie about any of these things. When you compete, people assume that you are an amazing athlete. When you get published once, people assume that you get published often. That's right I'm blaming you audience!
Why am I kicking this trash down the hallway? Because I'm over it. Granted it took a long time. I know I'm never going to be some incredible athlete. There is no Olympic medal in my future. My face will never be on a Wheaties box. Probably not going to host Saturday Night Live. Probably not going to be a guest on The Daily Show.
Don't get me wrong I'm still exercising but I'm done posting event stories where I happen to score a colored ribbon. I might take a few pictures here and there but I'm done spending countless hours splicing internet videos. If all of this sounds a bit depressing, it should. I put years of hard work into these side projects only to discover that there was no way to sustain them. Many people don't set their goals high enough, I set mine too high. I'm tired of being crushed under the weight of my own expectations.
So, what happens next? Now I get to focus on creating something meaningful without distractions. Twisted Trails has been the most successful product I have ever produced. That is something worthy to be built upon. I currently have a working copy of Twisted Trails 2 and I'm deep into the rewrites. From this time forward this blog will be dedicated to all things Twisted. If I can harness all of my energy into one project maybe my expectations will not seem so far fetched.
Stick with me folks, there are still great things to come. Alex H